It's not hard for me to realize how much I have to be thankful for. This week alone I have seen God's healing touch on my husband. He heard our prayers to find the right doctor who would have wisdom. They found his lung infection and acute bronchitis and started him on the right medicine to heal him quickly. What's more is He kept ALL the rest of us free from this illness!
Yesterday we enjoyed an afternoon on the water as a family. We sped along in our boat, the water like glass, and Ashton caught her first fish! I thought what a privileged life we lead. We want for nothing and lead a life of abundance.
Why then do I struggle with discontent and kindness and encouragement? Shouldn't my family be able to count on my sweetness? I know my place in our home and I am seeking to be fulfilled in the role God has set for me. How can I not look into the gorgeous blue eyes of my three year old and have anything but kind, nurturing words for her?
I know that contentment and joy are linked with thankfulness. That order and creativity are from the Lord. These are tools He HAS provided for me. Today I will let go of the guilt. I am a work in progress. The refining fire burns but my tears must not be of self-pity for He is doing a great work in me.
I used to desire to go out into the mission field, get away from this overindulged American way of life, and really reach out to people for Christ. What an exciting and noble cause! As God has changed my heart I have a new vision, to raise children for the kingdom of heaven. Today I read Psalm 127:4-5 in a new light. "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies at the gate." Yes I am preparing them and someday sending them out to be fiery blows to the enemy but that means I am the one shooting the arrows, I am the warrior for Christ! It is my job to train my son to be capable, God-fearing, trustworthy. A man who will proclaim truth in public places and lead tens, fifties, hundreds, or even thousands to change the face of our nation and eternity. (Exodus 18:21) He instructs that our daughters should be virtuous. (Proverbs 31:10) The Hebrew word for virtuous = chayil "able" as in military strength, virtue, valor, great forces, an army, might, power, noble, strong. This is the kind of virtuous strength I need to rule our home under the protection of my husbands authority, to set as an example for them. Yet the Bible tells me to do this with a gentle and quiet spirit (I Peter 3:4), with sweetness (Proverbs 16:24), and with daily encouragement (Hebrews 3:13) so they will not depart from the Lord or harden their hearts! This is my greatest fear! No wonder God has laid the importance of kind words on my heart. The very success of my life's work depends on it! God Himself leads me with an abundance of loving-kindness. He feeds me with His word. I belong to Him and He is my joy. (Jeremiah 15:16) He frees me from my strongholds and lightens my burden. (Hosea 11:4)
With tears in my eyes I am certainly starting this morning filled with joy and a thankful word on my tongue. Yet again, He is faithful.
Thanks Michelle, for sharing this! I struggle with the same thing, I get very frustrated with myself when I lose my patience with the boys. It is definately a struggle. I have taken to quoting scripture, particularly Galatians 5:22-23 in my head to get some perspective!
ReplyDeleteThanks again!