Are you listening?

     For years I have longed to "hear" God speak to me.  I wonder sometimes if I am not a good listener.  My closest friend, my sister-in-law, my dear friend and mentor...they have all talked about God "speaking" to them or how God has revealed something to them.  Sometimes I sit quietly with God during my morning prayers, I tell him I'm listening but I'm not sure he speaks to me in this way.  My sweet friend once said that she loves how God answers my prayers so often.  Of course, I am overwhelmed by his graciousness to me in this way and maybe I should be content but I can't help but long for a two-way conversation.  I think he is showing me that he wants this too.  I have been seeking his help to figure out the best way to keep my words and responses kind and encouraging.  I keep thinking that if I just remember to stop before I speak and ask him to tell me what to say to my husband, or how to discipline my children, or how to handle a situation at that moment that he would speak to me through his Holy Spirit and tell me.  I have had several confirmations of this just this week, well...that I have noticed anyway, they do have to be pretty obvious!  I realized this is exactly what I have been trying to teach my son as he gets frustrated with his sisters, to respond with kind words and then if you still need help, come to me.  Also, my friend was telling me a story about disciplining one of her children and how she prayed before entering his room and God gave her a great idea.  Then, yesterday my daily devotion was about listening to God. 
   
     "Come to Me and listen!  Attune yourself to My voice, and receive My richest blessings.  Though I am King of the universe I am totally accessible to you.  When I cried out from the cross, "It is finished!"  the curtain in the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.  This opened the way for you to meet with Me face to Face, with no need for protocol or priest.  I the King of Kings am your constant companion." - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

This author also tells the story of how she learned to sit quietly and write what she believed God was telling her.  Finally, in my Bible reading this morning I read Isaiah 50:4, "He wakens me morning by morning, he wakens my ear to listen like one being taught."  Prayer is for listening too!  And how many times does he tell us to listen, to HEAR?  Surely this is his desire for all of us and he is pleased that I want greater intimacy and communication with him?!  Maybe listening wasn't my problem after all, maybe it was a lack of faith that these are really his words in my thoughts and I should act on them in obedience.  Regardless I am determined to ask him to give me wisdom and words throughout the course of my day.  I have a feeling I will be pleasantly surprised.

Toiletries

So here are a few of my toiletry recipes for those who would like to dabble in making their own.  I love knowing I am keeping my family free of chemicals and harsh ingredients and making great gifts!  You may want to have a designated pot/spoon for soap and lotion making, especially when using Shea or cocoa butters and oils...they are VERY hard to wash from the pot!

Deodorant
Notes:  You can make this harder or softer according to you climate or where you store this by increasing/decreasing the amount of beeswax but be warned, a little goes a LONG way!  Don't be afraid to keep trying, you can always remelt.  This will make 2 bars (I just use empty deodorant containers but you can buy some or use a shallow jar) Melt the following ingredients in a pot...

5-6 TBSP of coconut oil (grocery store)
1/4 c cornstarch OR arrowroot powder for aluminum free
1/4 c baking powder (again consider A free)
1/2 TBSP beeswax pellets
1 TBSP Shea butter
20 drops essential oil of choice (I use Rosemary-Mint), add last when others have melted

Stir all ing until melted, remove from heat and continue to stir occasionally until it has cooled and thickened slightly, enough to pour into your deodorant tubes without separating and dripping through the bottom.  Allow to harden and enjoy!


Honey Soap
This is an easy soap to start with, I use a square honey bee mold with 16 soap squares.  Melt (careful not to scorch) ...

1 lb soap (white or clear glycerin or I like coconut oil soap base)

Add:
5 TBSP honey
approx 30 drops honey fragrance oil
approx 15 drops honeysuckle "      "
20 drops orange food color
3-5 drops black food color

When mixed over heat, pour into mold and allow to harden.  Remove from mold and package as desired.


Laundry Detergent
You will need a 5 gal bucket with a lid.  Once you make your own laundry detergent you won't believe how easy and CHEAP it is!  This cost me less than $2 a batch and lasts our family of 5 three months.

Grate 1 bar of ZOTE soap into pot.  Cover with water and heat/stir until melted.  Stir in 1 1/2 c Borax and 1 1/2 c Washing Soda.  Fill bucket about 1/3 of the way full with water.  Pour combined ingredients into the bucket and stir.  Continue to add water until the bucket is pretty full.  Allow to sit overnight.  Stir again.  It will be a really crazy consistency like snot or won ton soup but it's fine ;)  I use about 1/2 c per load in my HE washer.  If you have a really dirty load you can add some of the Borax or W S to the load.


OK ya'll have a go at those and I will add more later ;)

It's almost Christmas!  I REALLY love Christmas although I stress a bit as my sewing seems to start in the summer in preparation!  I know, I know that list of things I "need" to do is only in MY head but still. 
     We have so many wonderful traditions.  One of ours as a family is to get the children up on Christmas morning to open their stockings and then take them duck hunting before coming back to open presents!  Yes, Mom of course we read the Christmas story and drink hot wassail but I'm just sayin in case there was any doubt that we are slightly on the different side!
     I have been thinking a lot about our traditions, especially the religious ones.  Rex is preparing for his first communion this spring.  I have been completely blessed to be able to do this with him at home instead of sending him to church, however, it is a huge weight on my heart.  God has graciously led me through explaining everything to him thus far and now we come to memorizing the prayers so common to the catholic faith.  I have issues with one in particular, the Hail Mary.  I do not believe it is right to pray to ANYONE but God himself.  So how do I respect my husband's decision to go to the catholic church, balance his trust in me to teach our son, and still teach him the TRUTH?  Obviously had to let that one go to the Lord in prayer for a few weeks.  Well in his awesome graciousness he has answered my prayers...again.  God tells us over and over throughout his word that we are to come to HIM with our prayers, requests, and praise.  Never does it point us to Mary or anyone else.  I was praying Colossians 1 over my children this morning and just continued to read since I love that book :)  In chapter 2 vs 8 it says, "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."  And then He showed me chapter 1 vs 16, "For by Him (Christ) all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him."  and vs 17, "He is before all things..."  If we ever pray to Mary we are putting her before Christ.  We are taking away from Christ.  We are worshiping the creation rather than the creator just as others have worshiped idols before us.  I am so grateful he would honor me by hearing my prayers and give me this gift today, a tangible explanation for my son!

The Big 3-0 and Other Milestones

     Today my husband and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary!  We have been together for 15 years and it's funny how you can look back and consider a marriage one of your greatest accomplishments but they are hard work!!  Words can not express how thankful I am to our most gracious Lord for all he has brought us through and continues to teach us.  We love each other more than we ever did as teenagers and that is an exceptional blessing.  We won't be going to dinner and a movie, no we are taking our children to a evening archery tournament in typical Fletcher family fun!
     Two weeks ago I also celebrated my 30th birthday!  No one seems to look forward to turning 30 but I sure did!  I love that God has given me a vision for growing older.  He has been teaching me so much about building lately.  I am reading II Chronicles now and Solomon is building the temple.  God has asked me to build our family in the same way.  A thick, strong foundation, the seven pillars of wisdom for strength, and beauty to attract others and glorify God.  Every furnishing is useful and has a purpose.  There is a place for honor set aside for God.  The blue prints match God's heavenly temple.  All the materials are HIS provisions.  It is built with complete reliance on Him and dedicated with prayer and praise.  I am loving this analogy! 
     When I think how overwhelming this is I remember two things.  One; Ephesians 1:17-19, "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better.  I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."  It goes on to compare that power to what He used to raise Christ from the dead!  What do we even need that kind of power for!?  Yet, He has promised it to us.  So I have everything I need but some days I tend to procrastinate in my objectives and so the second thing I try and remember is to just BEGIN.  Just start....aaaannndd....go...II Chronicles 3:1 starts with, "Then Solomon began to build..."  Even when I screw up there is a new beginning.  How gracious is my God!
      So for my 30th birthday I asked the Lord for wisdom.  Wisdom far greater than any mother needs,  I know it won't compare to Solomon's but then I don't have a kingdom to run.  I just desire the kind of wisdom I could not posess in my youth.  The kind that raises children according to God's standards.  The kind that enables me to be a meek and quiet example of God's love to my husband.  These are my greatest desires.  A very wise man, whom I am honored to call Dad, pointed out to me that the wisdom that I asked for IS the very same kind of wisdom Solomon had, yet without love it does not yield a balanced result.  Although I don't deserve ANY of it, the God who gave up His only son to have a reletionship with me, promises if I ask His will in His son's name, he will do it.  (John 14:14)  I have so much to look forward to!

The Necessity of Kind Words

     It's not hard for me to realize how much I have to be thankful for.  This week alone I have seen God's healing touch on my husband.  He heard our prayers to find the right doctor who would have wisdom.  They found his lung infection and acute bronchitis and started him on the right medicine to heal him quickly.  What's more is He kept ALL the rest of us free from this illness!
     Yesterday we enjoyed an afternoon on the water as a family.  We sped along in our boat, the water like glass, and Ashton caught her first fish!  I thought what a privileged life we lead.  We want for nothing and lead a life of abundance.
     Why then do I struggle with discontent and kindness and encouragement?  Shouldn't my family be able to count on my sweetness?  I know my place in our home and I am seeking to be fulfilled in the role God has set for me.  How can I not look into the gorgeous blue eyes of my three year old and have anything but kind, nurturing words for her?  
     I know that contentment and joy are linked with thankfulness.  That order and creativity are from the Lord.  These are tools He HAS provided for me.  Today I will let go of the guilt.  I am a work in progress.  The refining fire burns but my tears must not be of self-pity for He is doing a great work in me. 
     I used to desire to go out into the mission field, get away from this overindulged American way of life, and really reach out to people for Christ.  What an exciting and noble cause!  As God has changed my heart I have a new vision, to raise children for the kingdom of heaven.  Today I read Psalm 127:4-5 in a new light.  "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.  They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies at the gate."  Yes I am preparing them and someday sending them out to be fiery blows to the enemy but that means I am the one shooting the arrows, I am the warrior for Christ!  It is my job to train my son to be capable, God-fearing, trustworthy.  A man who will proclaim truth in public places and lead tens, fifties, hundreds, or even thousands to change the face of our nation and eternity.  (Exodus 18:21)  He instructs that our daughters should be virtuous.  (Proverbs 31:10)  The Hebrew word for virtuous = chayil "able" as in military strength, virtue, valor, great forces, an army, might, power, noble, strong.  This is the kind of virtuous strength I need to rule our home under the protection of my husbands authority, to set as an example for them.  Yet the Bible tells me to do this with a gentle and quiet spirit (I Peter 3:4), with sweetness (Proverbs 16:24), and with daily encouragement (Hebrews 3:13) so they will not depart from the Lord or harden their hearts!  This is my greatest fear!  No wonder God has laid the importance of kind words on my heart.  The very success of my life's work depends on it!  God Himself leads me with an abundance of loving-kindness.  He feeds me with His word.  I belong to Him and He is my joy.  (Jeremiah 15:16)  He frees me from my strongholds and lightens my burden. (Hosea 11:4) 
     With tears in my eyes I am certainly starting this morning filled with joy and a thankful word on my tongue.  Yet again, He is faithful. 

Overcoming the Enemy

I had this terrifying dream last night.  The kind of dream that is so real and yet you wake up and it seems so silly.  This one just kept me thinking though and so as I began my quiet time I prayed that God would reveal any meaning that this dream might have or else captivate my thoughts and help me not to dwell on it.  I began to think of the real enemies of our home, the ones that sneak in when we are preoccupied and least aware.  Have I recognized them?  Am I doing what is needed to repair the holes in God's protective wall around us?  Again I prayed for wisdom and revelation and then opened my Bible to the next chapter I was reading, 1Kings chapter 20.  Twice the Lord handed over the obviously stronger Aramean army to king Ahab and the Israelites.  After Ben-Hadad's (king of Aram) defeat, Ahab made a treaty with him!  He was punished for realigning  himself with a foe that God had already determined should be destroyed.  I thought how interestingly this with my dream.  Have I been faithful to destroy that which the Lord has condemned in my life?  I then read my devotional for the day.  I love God's way of stitching totally unrelated things together.  It never ceases to amaze me.  I was just proud of myself for getting up before the children to read His word and He had already written me a complete lesson plan for the day!  Anyway, if you will remember the story of Jael in Judges 4 & 5...She was alone and yet she took authority over the enemy who came in to her house.  It was a bloody gory scene and she did not let her fear stop her from doing what was right.  The same should hold true today.  We can not worry about hurting feelings and political correctness.  We must walk in obedience to protect our families!  That's the key though, for when we are in OBEDIENCE we have the power, in the name of Jesus to overcome the enemy.  (Luke 10:19) I am striving to live victoriously, not only over the enemy, but over the challenges of every day life.  Grumbling, discontent, negative thoughts toward my husband and others, gossip, and self-preoccupation.  As frustrated as I get with myself, I try to remember to view these things as a chance to live in Christ, not within my own power.  They are a test as to whether my life is built next to the shore where the sand is wet and easy to shape.  Or is it built on the rock that is Christ Jesus...much harder work but the result is for eternity.

Working as Family Team

      God continues to give me a vision for our family.  Some days I continue to balk and cry out to Him that this is simply unattainable.  He smiles at me and says "Yes, dear daughter it is.  I have given you the tools you need to start but you must come to me if you want what is needed to see the job to completion."  He certainly knows how to keep me on my knees!  He also continues to show me how everything I bring to Him is fulfilled in ABUNDANCE!  Far above my expectation and certainly beyond my need.  And so I have learned to trust Him, even if I forget sometimes.  I am so thankful He is patient with me.
     The last few weeks our young daughters have been especially difficult.  They are constantly fighting, whining, and hanging on Mommy.  A sure sign of a slip in discipline.  Even their Dad has had enough.  Of course I have prayed and read and lost my temper a few times.  I know this is normal at their age, the problem is I don't believe it is God's plan.  It should not be normal!   I remembered that they are little Mommies in training and that I should be spending time training them everyday.  I have been devoting as much time as I can to homeschooling their brother and tending to the house and meals that I left little time interacting with them.  OK, so they need to get involved, but how do I get anything done?  As every Mom with toddlers knows they have a willingness to "help" with just about any job but you just end up taking twice as long and redoing everything anyway.  Well yesterday I was determined to lay aside my agenda and let them get to work with me.  After all, they are part of the team.  I can't expect them to help out cheerfully when they are 15 much less learn to run their own households if I don't start training them while they are young.  I let them join in EVERY SINGLE chore that I did.  From cleaning the bathroom and putting away laundry to scrubbing the tires while I did the truck.  They had so much fun and the funny thing is, so did I!  As I encouraged and thanked them they really felt as if they were an asset to this family and I really enjoyed them and their smiling faces and happy attitudes.  I never had to wonder what they were getting in to, they were right beside me...which suited them just fine anyway.  I had so much more patience with all of them because I wasn't already worn to a frazzle by their bickering.  Their Dad came home to 4 smiling faces, a clean house, and washed and waxed truck.  He was totally amazed!  (So was I but we don't have to share that with him :)